growing & self-acceptance
- lxrynwxtring
- Sep 23, 2022
- 4 min read
9/23/22
hello cherubs! today we are going to be discussing the topic of growing & self acceptance.
what is self-acceptance?
self acceptance is an individual's acceptance of all their attributes whether positive or negative.
many of us have been through a lot of stressful, dangerous, and chaotic situations. some of us have been able to accept the things that have happened to us and choose to love ourselves. but some of us have a harder time doing that.
self acceptance is important because it helps you keep control of your emotions. when you aren't self accepting, you typically focus on the negative aspects and don't have much room for happiness. a lack of self acceptance can also influence our psychological and emotional well-being.
here are some benefits of self acceptance from betterup.com
self acceptance helps you control your emotions.
when you lack self acceptance, it causes an imbalance in your brain. this can lead to emotional outbursts from elevated anxiety, stress, or anger.
but, high self-acceptance leads to positive emotions and greater psychological well-being. it can help boost your mood and shield you from the effects of anxiety and depression.
2. self-acceptance helps you forgive yourself
self-acceptance helps you to be less critical. it opens you to being more positive, compassionate, and having a balanced view of yourself.
according to Dr. Pillay of Harvard Medical School, acceptance and forgiveness go hand-in-hand. when we don't have the ability to accept and forgive ourselves, it splits us in two. self-acceptance can help us bridge these two back together.
3. self-acceptance gives us more self-confidence
self-acceptance helps us realize that our perceived negative qualities don't define who you are or what you are worth.
when you are confident, you are able to take on your fears. but when you lack self-confidence, it can hold you back.
confidence gives you a sense of independence and allows you to be able to make decisions for yourself without needing the approval of others.
4. self-acceptance leads to self-compassion
according to the expert researcher of self-compassion, Kristin Neff, "self-compassion is more important for our mental health and emotional well-being than self-esteem."
she describes self-compassion as giving yourself "the same kindness and care you would give to a good friend."
coming to terms with self-compassion can help you be more gentle with yourself when you make a mistake and help you more easily bounce back from setbacks.
5. self-acceptance helps you be yourself
lack of self-acceptance leads to constantly trying to hide, censor, or repress your true self, which leads to feeling drained.
mastering self-acceptance will help you show up more authentically. essentially, when you accept yourself, you aren't concerned how others perceive you, and you're able to be your whole & true self.
what drives self-acceptance?
have you ever wondered why some people are more self-accepting than others? to put it simply, it is because our childhood experiences affect our ability to accept ourselves as adults.
our caregivers are the first ones to teach us the proper do's and don't's of self-acceptance. as children, we learn to only accept the parts of ourselves that they deem acceptable. judgment becomes easy and leads to rejecting, suppressing and hiding our "unacceptable" traits.
but the fact of the matter is that these judgments are arbitrary. they are all dependent on the values and priorities that our caregivers teach us.
different emotions are considered acceptable or unacceptable in different families. if you grew up in a family where one emotion wasn't acceptable, it may be hard to accept that emotion in adulthood.
parenting styles also play a role. children accept every criticism their parents give and accept them as truth. so, if your caregivers were critical or demanding, the voice of your inner critic will likely reflect it. but the opposite is also true, that if your parents were compassionate towards you, you are more likely to be compassionate towards yourself.
5 self-acceptance exercises
true self-acceptance isn't learned quickly. daily practice and self-care can help you increase your levels over time, just like with anything else.
these self-acceptance exercises will teach you how to practice self-love and acceptance everyday:
practice gratitude--every day, write down 5 things you're grateful for.
reframe your negative thoughts--write down your negative beliefs about yourself, go through each belief and reframe them. ask yourself "is this true?" replace each statement with more positive self-talk.
choose your support system--make a list of the people you spend the most time with, are these positive or negative influences? ask yourself if you can remove some of the negative people in your life or at least limit your time with them.
meditate--the goal of meditation is to become aware of negative self-talk and observe them without identifying with them.
forgive yourself--think of a situation, action, or mistake that you would like to forgive yourself for. identify any judgments of yourself relating to that situation, and forgive yourself for them.
remember, self-acceptance doesn't happen overnight. healing, growing, and learning are not linear processes.
be gentle with yourself and tell yourself it will take time. just like a caterpillar takes time to transform to a butterfly, you too will become your most beautiful and authentic self.
keep going, you deserve to be here.
xx Loryn
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