alternatives to self-harm
- lxrynwxtring
- Sep 20, 2022
- 7 min read
9/20/22
hello cherubs! with this month being so important in spreading awareness, I am having a fun time writing extra blogs to go along with it.
with that being said, this post is going to be discussing potentially triggering information that might not be suitable for everyone. if you think that you may be affected by discussion of self-harm, suicide, or anything of the sort, please skip this post and join us at a later time...
take care of your mind & if this post is too much, we totally understand!
according to the Mind, a British mental health advocacy charity, self harm is "when you hurt yourself as a way of dealing with very difficult feelings, painful memories or overwhelming situations and experiences."
while this is not an exhaustive list, self-harm can be described as a way to: express something that is hard to put into words, turns invisible thoughts or feelings into something that is visible, change emotional pain into physical pain, reduce overwhelming thoughts or feelings, have a sense of being in control, escape traumatic memories, punishing self for feelings and experiences, create a reason to take care of oneself, and express suicidal thoughts or feelings without taking one's life.
often times, self-harm is a short-term fix to something a lot bigger. self-harm can become something an individual relies on and can take a long time to overcome. when self-harm becomes normal to the individual, they will build a tolerance to it and have to do more and more in order to feel relief from it.
while someone who self-harms might not be someone who is suicidal, it does come with risks. self-harm is just that, harmful. you might not think that's it damaging, but if continuing, it will become more and more harmful and harder to step away from.
this is a collapsible list, click the arrow to view the information.
self-harm can look different to each individual but examples can be:
cutting yourself
poisoning yourself
over-eating or under-eating
exercising excessively
biting yourself
picking or scratching at your skin
burning your skin
inserting objects into your body
hitting yourself or walls
misusing alcohol, prescription and recreational drugs
pulling your hair
having unsafe sex
getting into fights where you know you will get hurt
many times, people get the wrong idea about self-harm, saying that people are just doing it for attention, or other reasons. being honest, this isn't the truth. most people just want to have a sense of control over a short amount of their pain & self-harm is the way to achieve that. no one is saying that you should do it, it's just what some individuals choose to have control over when they can't control anything else.
PLEASE; if you know someone that self-harms, don't make a big deal about it. simply ask them if they need any help or someone to talk to. drawing attention to it will often just make matters worse and that's the last thing that the individual probably wants.
here are 15 misconceptions from the Cornell research program on self-injury and recovery:
only females self-injure
this is a myth. research shows that 30-40% of those who self-harm are male.
self-injury is a suicide attempt or failed suicide attempt
reasoning behind self-injury and suicide are often very different. most studies find that self-injury is often done to avoid suicide, not as a means to take one's life.
only teenagers self-harm
it is true that majority of those who self-injure are teenagers, that doesn't account for everyone. people of all ages self-harm, even documentation of children seven years or younger have been recorded. self-harm has no age limit or minimum.
anyone who self-harms is crazy and should be sent to a mental hospital
this is the furthest thing from the truth. typically, those who self-injure use it as a coping mechanism. society does not understand and accept it as such. although it might not be healthy, it doesn't mean someone is "crazy."
self-injury is just attention seeking
although there are circumstance where self-harm is clearly a way for someone to get attention, it should be treated with respect and be taken care of the same way as someone not doing it for attention. it may be a cry for help with no other way to express it. but the majority of people who self-harm go to extremes to hide it. hidden self-injury is still a symptom of underlying distress and merits help from someone in the position to help.
self-injury is untreatable
although self-injury can be difficult to stop once starting, usually people who practice it can stop at some point. there is, however, no "magic bullet" in the treatment of self-harm. because it is most often used as a coping mechanism, the practice usually does not stop until the individual who uses it has other methods to cope and is fully ready to stop.
people who self-injure are manipulative
self-harm is more about relieving tension and distress than it is about manipulating others. very few report manipulation as a reasoning for self-harm.
all people who self-harm have "bipolar personality disorder"
while this may be true, typically those who self-injure can have many mental health disorders, such as: depression, BPD, anorexia, bulimia, OCD, PTSD, and/or anxiety or panic disorder. but there are also those who self-harm that might not have any disorder.
people who self-injure only cut themselves
although this is a common method, cutting is not the only form of self-harm. studies show that self-injury is typically multiple methods, such as burning, scratching skin, and/or hair pulling.
anyone who self-harms is part of the "goth" or "emo" subgroup
self-injury excludes no one. people who self-injure come from all types of groups, ethnicities, and economic backgrounds. some people who self-injure mange to function effectively in demanding jobs, etc. it is impossible to classify someone as a person who self-harms or not based on what they look like, type of music they listen to, or who their friends are.
people who self-injure enjoy the pain or they can't feel it
self-harm most often hurts. sometimes feeling the pain is the whole point. a person might self-injure to reconnect with his or her body or just to feel something. there is no evidence that individuals who self-injure feel pain any differently than people who do not self-injure.
there's nothing i can do to help
MYTH! there are many things you can do to help. the easiest way is just by listening. don't judge, be as supportive and understanding as you can. most importantly, don't give up.
all people who self-injure have been abused
some people have, but not all. reasons for self-harm are varied and unique to each individual person.
someone who self-injures can stop if they really want to
while this is true for some people, to some, self-harm can become an addiction. there is emerging evidence that self-injury releases endorphins in the brain, a process which increases the possibility of someone becoming addicted to the action.
someone who self-harms is a danger to others
self-injury is generally a private activity and many who practice it are accustomed to turning their anger and frustration inward rather than outward.
this list was provided and summarized from: http://selfinjury.bctr.cornell.edu/documents/15_misconceptions.pdf
here are some facts about self-harm from the recover village (https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/self-harm/self-harm-myths/)
Self-harm can occur without suicidal ideation
Individuals who self-harm are typically ashamed and want to hide their behavior
Cutting is a common form of self-harm, but there are other types of self-harming behavior
People who engage in self-harming behavior do feel pain, but they may experience it differently than those who do not self-harm
Self-harm is more common in adolescents but can occur in any age group
Rates of self-harm are higher than most people realize
Fitting in is often not the goal of self-harm
Self-harm is not intended to be an act of manipulation
Having a history of abuse can increase the risk of self-harm, but not everyone who self-injures has been abused
Self-harm is a serious concern that requires intervention
Psychological treatment is available for those who self-harm, and it can be effective
often times, people self-harm to have a sense of control over their pain. while self-harm can be painful, there are alternatives:
here is a list of alternative that will give you a sensation that isn't harmful:
hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth
run your hands under freezing cold water
snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist
clap your hands until it stings
wax your legs
drink freezing cold water
splash your face with cold water
put elmer's glue on your hands then peel it off
take a hot shower/bath
jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet
write or paint on yourself
arm wrestle with a member of your family
take a cold bath
bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root
rub essential oil under your nose
put tiger balm on the places you want to cut (tiger balm is a muscle relaxant that indices a tingle sensation. you can find it in most health food stores)
other types of alternatives and/or distractions:
let yourself cry
draw on your skin with a red marker
go for a quick walk
scribble recklessly on paper
rip up paper
write a positive letter to yourself
start a journal
cuddle with a pet
write a list of things you like about yourself
splatter paint on a large piece of paper
pick a random subject and research it
reorganize something in your room
make a recovery playlist
and lastly self-care for self-harm:
find a distraction (see list above)
pop bubble wrap
learn about emotion regulation
research DBT/CBT
eat sour candy
journal with lots of curse words
watch your favorite show
sing to loud (not triggering music)
use the calm harm app
rub lotion or ointment on the area instead
talk to someone
information pulled from:
while i do understand that alternatives aren't always going to be soothing enough to offer as a substitute, it is important to know how to properly take care of yourself after self-harm. we will be discussing the proper steps to take care of your body after self-harm types such as cutting, burning, and overdose.
this is in no way suggesting self-harm. this is just a way to make sure to do it "safely."
cutting:
find a safe place, always use new blades, and have a first aid kit ready.
the most important thing is to control bleeding and prevent infection.
once the urge to cut has lessened, you can concentrate on treating the injury by taking these steps:
assess the damage
apply direct pressure for 3-5 minutes
cover the wound with a clean bandage and medicine to help heal the injury
if the wound is on a limb, elevate the limb to reduce blood flow
if you cannot control blood flow, please call 911
burning:
always keep flammable things such as clothing, hair, etc. away from the burnt area
the goal of healing a burn is to lower the temperature of the affected area
rinse the area under cold water for at least 10 minutes
do not apply any creams, oils, or balms to the area
if there is clothing, jewelry, or anything close to the burn, remove it. after a burn the area will swell
if you cannot heal a burn yourself, please seek medical attention
overdose/toxic substances:
although affects might not be immediate, medical attention should be acquired immediately after any sort of overdose or use of toxic substances
never induce vomiting
never use alone
list summarized and found from: http://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/
I know that this can be a touchy subject for some of us, but I believe that it's important to talk about...
with that being said, if you are struggling, please know that you are not alone. a lot of us assume that no one is there for us and that we deserve to be this way. but that's not the truth. the truth is that we have people that love us and want the best for us, we just need to let them know that we are hurting.
people don't know that you are hurting unless you tell them or show them. don't let it get bad before speaking up for yourself.
remember, you deserve to be here.
and take care of yourself.
ill see you guys in the next one,
xx Loryn
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