how to deal with holiday anxieties

Hi friends!!!

It's been a while and I apologize for that. Between work and school and life, my blog got away from me. But I'm back and hopefully on a regular schedule now(:

With this week beginning the holiday time of year, I thought it would be a good time to talk about all the anxieties that come along with this time of year.

If you're like most people, you live your life either by yourself, with a significant other, and maybe some kids or pets. You see your family every once in a while, but not nearly as often as they'd like to see you. This time of year is the time that families gather to spending quality time together.

Some families have no issue and love spending time together, but for some in can be stressful and even scary at times. Not everyone's family is the same. Learning to navigate through this busy time of year will be the most helpful for you and your anxious thoughts.

Social anxiety is one of the most common types of anxiety in our societies, mainly because we have developed such a norm to social media and "hiding" behind screens. For my age group, 18-21 year olds, we grew up as social media was developing and have become dependent on social media for our source of happiness and standards. As someone in this age group, I agree that I do get caught up in these things, especially when it comes to my blog becoming successful, but I try my best to be aware of how much time I spend on my phone, absorbed into technology.

The generations after me are even worse off. Children become dependent on technology before they are even able to speak or understand what the videos and things they are listening to are saying. I will say, screen time isn't always bad, but teaching your children at such a young age to be dependent on such a thing is setting them up to be dependent on technology for their entire lives.

With that being said, social anxiety is one of the big reasons that people are so anxious for the holidays.

Maybe it's children that don't get out much and aren't used to spending time with close relatives. Maybe it's the pre-teen going through puberty that's embarrassed of what they look like. Maybe it's the teenager exploring their sexuality and unsure of who they really are. Maybe it's the girl who is pregnant out of wedlock. Maybe it's the college student that's unsure of what they want to do with their live.

In our world there are so many things that people base their self-image off of and whether their family accepts them is a big factor in the matter. Anxiety is a real thing, that the average person deals with at least a few times in their lifetime. Anxiety is something that is becoming more and more common and isn't something that should be highlighted or fear-forced.

Being kind and open to learning what those with anxiety are comfortable doing in this time of the year is so important. These people don't choose to have this constant worry, they don't want to be excluded from the functions, they don't want to be called out just for fearing their own families. They are human and they are just like anyone else, just a little bit more worried than the next.

if you are someone that deals with anxiety during the holidays, below are some tips I've found that can hopefully help ease your worries: (bullet points supported by: https://hypnosistrainingacademy.com/hypnosis-for-holiday-stress-and-anxiety/)

• be realistic about what you can do

even if it's nerve-racking, let those around you know what you're comfortable with.

• pace yourself so that you don't take on more than you can handle

don't speed too much time tiring yourself out, hide out in your room until you've built up the energy to go talk to people. or if you're visiting other family's homes, offer to drive yourself and show up at a later time than others.

• set holiday goals that are achievable

maybe you have food anxiety and you are worried about eating with others at the table. take small portions of whatever food there is you like, and don't eat so much that you're so full. take your time and pace yourself so that you aren't worried just about the meal and can focus more of your energy on other things, like talking with your little cousins or playing a board game after the thanksgiving meal.

• remember to live in the now and make the most of every moment

if you are lucky enough to still have your parents/grandparents, cherish them. you don't know how much longer you'll have them around. focus on having genuine conversations and spending time off and away from your phone. truthfully, you only see these people a few times a year, you'll be able to get through just a few hours.

• make time for free (and stress-free) activities such as window shopping or driving around to see decorations

let's be honest, even though thanksgiving still isn't over, people are still putting up their Christmas decorations already. if it's warm enough, take a walk and go see if there's any around the neighborhood, or drive with a few close family members. one thing that my family enjoys is playing board games together, which is fun and free!! we really enjoy apples to apples and phase 10 as a few suggestions.

• try something different this time around to keep things fresh

usually our mother's or grandmother's do most of the cooking, if you're my age, take your turn at doing some of the cooking! or maybe, if you're older, ask the kids or grandkids if they want to help in the kitchen as something different!

• spend time with people who nourish and support you

maybe your family isn't familiar to you, only seeing them a few times a year, that's normal. just because they're family doesn't mean you have to know them and everything about them. it's normal to feel uncomfortable! in this case, stick close to someone that you know well. maybe it's your mom, or grandmother, or significant other. they will help you be more comfortable and hopefully do some of the speaking so you don't have to!!!

the holidays are supposed to be the best time of the year, but for most people they can be some of the most stressful.

if you are someone that doesn't stress over the holidays and doesn't deal with much anxiety, remember that not everyone feels the same that you do. some people are afraid of crowds (even if they're all related to you), and some feel more comfortable by themselves or only with a few people. stick up for these people (but don't make them uncomfortable), understand when they want to eat alone in another room by themselves or with one other person, be respectful to them and appreciate that they came to the event to say hi instead of staying home or in their rooms where they are most comfortable. they are still your family and you should love them just as if they didn't have worries overtaking their minds all the time.

if you are someone that is dealing with these overtaking thoughts of worry and stress about seeing family at this time of year, know that you're not alone. many people worry about this time of year and try to fake it. lots of people deal with anxiety, but some can hide it well. even if you don't hide it well, there's no need to feel bad, it's okay. your family is going to love to see you and will understand that you might not want to do everything together. if your family is accepting (as they should be) they will understand that you're not very talkative or don't have good answers to their prying questions. the best thing you can do is be yourself and they will still love you just the same!

I hope that this helps someone and eases their worries as we're going into the thankful season of the year. spend this time with those you love even if it's just your dog or cat at home. the holidays will be over soon and will go back to our regular scheduling soon!

I hope you guys enjoyed my first blog back(: and I hope it helps someone this coming week. share this blog with someone you think will like it!

I will see you guys again Thursday(:

xx Loryn