on the third day of christmas...
- lxrynwxtring
- Dec 16, 2022
- 5 min read
12/16/22
on the third day of blogmas, bravebutsoft gave to me...
the importance of sharing presence, not presents!
the holidays are full of gift giving, finding the perfect gift, worrying about everyone to buy for, etc.
but is that truly what it's all about?
don't get me wrong, everyone (at least most people I know) loves receiving gifts. it is something to look forward to and be surprised by each year.
but Christmas isn't all about the gifts, it's about who you spend it with that truly makes it worthwhile.
so what is presence?
presence is "the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing."
when you are in the presence of others, you are surrounded by individuals that are (most of the time) good people who are influencing you to be your authentic self. this is why it's important to surround yourself with the right people: those who look out for you and have your back.
in our world of technology, social media, and chaotic messes, it is sometimes hard to be present with one another. a lot of us have a lot of things going on and it's sometimes hard to give one-on-one attention to others.
according to Moni Bee, therapist and blogger, "many of us have become so caught up in (and even addicted to) busy-ness, we don’t even realize how much we’re missing in our relationships."
we can be physically with someone without being present with them.
with that being said, what does it mean to be present?
Moni Bee said it so well, "It means slowing down enough to notice not only what is happening around you but who is around you. It means listening attentively, noticing facial expressions, body language and other nonverbal cues. It means taking deep breaths and noticing what’s happening in your body in real time. It is being fully in each moment."
so how do you maintain being present?
notice your surroundings
how often do you actually take a moment to notice the things around you? take a second, close your eyes, and imagine your surroundings... what type of patterns, textures, and colors can you think of? now open your eyes and actual look and see of the things you did or didn't remember simply because you didn't take the time to notice.
focus on one thing at a time
don't multitask!!! as much as it seems like a good idea and you might be able to get more done, this is the #1 way to not be present. focusing on one thing can be overwhelming at first. when you find yourself thinking of other things, focus back on what you are doing. research says that if you are focused on one thing, you are more likely to remember it long-term.
be grateful for what you have now
one of the most important parts of being present is being grateful for what you have now (not in the past or future). if you do not appreciate the things you currently have, you will often take the things that will come to you in the future for granted. if you are constantly thinking of all the things you don't have, you aren't appreciating the things you currently do have.
accept things as they are
another way of being present is accepting things they way they are. not trying to change or rearrange what you have is part of accepting things as they are. let go of the expectation of how you think things should be and choose acceptance.
practice mindfulness meditation
mindfulness meditation helps an individual focus on the here and now. mindfulness is concentration of your surroundings and finding where you might be holding tension. recognizing and releasing this tension will help you live in the moment. mindfulness can come from: sounds, sensations, taste, thoughts and breathing. check out this article from verywell mind to find ways to mindfully meditate.
spend time with people who make you happy and fulfilled
if you are surrounding yourself with people who aren't fulfilling, supportive, and emotionally accepting, you are surrounding yourself with people you probably aren't going to want to be present with. find your people: those who support you, make you happy, and are supportive of every aspect of your life.
be mindful of everything you do
being mindful in all aspects of life will help you develop a present-moment awareness. being mindful has many benefits including: pulling you out of a negative downward spiral, help make fewer errors, and help put stressful events into perspective. mindfulness in a relationship is about observing what the other person is doing in a non-judgmental way. it's also about staying present in the moment during your conversations. mindfulness through eating is paying attention to each bite that you're taking. chewing your food slowly and savoring the taste. taking a pause throughout the day to reflect and refocus to keep on track. these are all good ways to be mindful throughout each day.
practice deep breathing exercises
deep breathing helps you focus on the task at hand. this exercise helps you take control over the situation and reduce negative feelings and panic. try this 4-7-8 breathing exercise.
take a break from social media and technology
social media and technology hold a lot of expectations that cause us to become disconnected from reality. taking a break from social media can help you bring back a sense of presence and stability it your life. it's important that you learn how to avoid letting technology take over your life as this can really prevent you from being mindful of what is going on around you.
get regular exercise
often a lot of us think that we don't have the time for exercise or physical activity of any sort. but truthfully, if you make the time for it (even just 30 minutes) exercise will make you feel a lot better. regular exercise or even just taking a stroll through the park can help you to stay more focused on your present activities. including yoga as part of your daily routine is another great way to live in the present, especially if it's coupled with meditation and mindfulness exercises.
so after all of that, why do we need presence?
"presence is the foundation for human connection."
without presence, we are missing out on a lot of things in life. without being fully present, we are only really getting part of the true experience of life. when we are with others, we are truly there to be with them without the need to do anything. this is where connection comes in.
Parker J. Palmer puts it in perfect perception: “The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is.”
we all want to be accepted as we are and who we are. allow others to just exist as they are and they will be open and honest with you in return.
I do not take full credit for every part of this blog, here are some of the sites I used as inspiration:
RESOURCES FOR THIS BLOG:
I hope you guys enjoyed this one! share it with someone you think would enjoy it(:
remember, you deserve to be here
xx Loryn
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