on the fourth day of christmas...
- lxrynwxtring
- Dec 17, 2022
- 4 min read
12/17/22
on the fourth day of blogmas, bravebutsoft gave to me...
ways to meet your partner's needs!
during the busy holiday season we often have so much going on that we inadvertently put our significant others last...
often times, we assume that since we are in a relationship, that our partners are a-okay and things are going good, regardless of whatever is going on around us. through the busyness and chaos that happens during the holidays, some relationships go down hill quickly this time of year.
today we are going to be discussing your partner's needs this holiday season and how to maintain a happy and healthy committed relationship.
**disclaimer: I do understand that not everyone wants, needs, or has a relationship or partner. but all of these needs can be used for friendships and family members too**
what your partners needs...
to feel appreciated by you
to feel wanted by you
for you to notice the good they do for you
to know you're willing to grow together
to know their thoughts and ideas matter to you
to know their feelings aren't "too much" for you
to know you'll be there in times of need
to know your heart, not just your head
now how can we meet these needs?
ways to make sure someone feels appreciated:
be specific
when you appreciate something that they have done for you, don't just say "thanks for helping out." be more specific with your gratitude and use more descriptive terms when giving appreciation, explaining what the person did to receive this appreciation. try this, "thank you for helping me ____," or "i really appreciate that you helped me with ____." being specific is key to understanding appreciation.
include how they helped you
being specific is not only about what the person did to help but how they helped. explaining to someone how they helped furthers the understand and appreciation. recognizing and understanding how you help someone will hopefully help you to better aid someone in the future and you will be more likely to help if you know how to help. so remember, be specific in how & why, like this: "thank you for helping me do _____, it really helped me stay on top of things!"
say it clearly
sometimes simply say "you are appreciated" goes a lot longer than a simple thank you. lots of times we get caught up in things and forget what a simple three words can do to someone. these three simple words can make people feel seen, validated, and recognized. these three words can change someone's view point from negative to positive!
ways to make people feel wanted:
while similar to feeling appreciated, feeling wanted is slightly different.
here are some ways to make sure someone feels wanted:
communication
communication is the #1 thing that most people fail to think about in relationships & friendships. when a relationship has open communication, where nothing is left as open ended or confusing, it fosters a strong, healthy conneciton. communication invovles the hard things, small talk, being goofy, everything. talk about things & don't bottle them up!
validating your partner's feelings
repeat things they say in your own words to show that you understand. listen closely, so that you understand properly. validation can look different for different people, but an example can sound like, "I can undesrtand why you feel like _____. it's understandable and okay to feel like that." feeling as if you are able to vent and be understood by someone is one of the most important parts of a realtionship.
get to know your partner on a deeper level
dive into their brains and thinking patterns. ask them about their hopes and dreams. fostering a healthy, safe place where someone can be themselves in one of the easiest ways to make someone feel wanted. the more you get to know you partner, the more they will feel wanted by you. ask them about their childhood, their belief and morals. get to know them.
compliment and flirt with you partner
sometimes, when you've been in a relationship long-term, you forget what the beginning stages were like. remember to flirt with your partner, tell them they're looking good and be truthful!
physical touch throughout the day
it's easy to "forget" to touch your partner. this isn't just sexual either. hugs are a big part of a relationship (& frienship). holding hands, give back scratches, etc. are easy ways to remind your partner that you want them.
love languages
first off, if you are unsure of your love language take the quiz here: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
but love languages are a very important part of a relationship. knowing your partner's love language is an essential way to making sure they feel like they are wanted and honestly makes it easier to recognize where you might be lacking in providing for your partner.
tell your partner why you love them
simply saying and reminding your significant that you love them is definitely important, but there is a way to make it better. saying "i love you because _____," can hold a lot more meaning than just saying "i love you."
ways to show your partner you are wanting to grow with them:
more listening, less talking
building awareness
maintaining awareness
trying something new
spending more time together
put down the phone
prioritize intimacy
reestablish relationship intentions
have more fun
how to validate your partner:
listen!
be an empath
show you are paying attention
normalize their emotions
see it from their pov
touch them (if they are okay with it)
be expressive
the most important take away from today's blog is the fact that during this time of year, it's extremely important to recognize and make sure that you are meeting your partners needs.
hopefully this post gave you some ideas!
I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR ALL SOURCES OF THIS BLOG
RESOURCES:
I'll see you guys tomorrow!
remember you deserve to be here <3
xx Loryn
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